• Tag Archives Philosophy
  • Hearthstone – delaying the victory

    I recently started playing Hearthstone and have really enjoyed it. I had avoided the game for quite some time because I used to get a little too obsessive about Magic: The Gathering, and really did not want to devote all my limited game time to it. However, when it came to mobile, I decided to give it a shot because then I could play it in those odd moments when I have 15 minutes to spare but I am not on my PC (or even home).

    I have really enjoyed playing the game. I will admit that I am not good, often losing more games than I win. However, it is all those losses that has led me to an interesting and curious observation. I noticed that my opponents often delay inflicting lethal damage. Often they will play some unnecessary spells and minions, or throw out some complex combo. This happens frequently enough that I am left wondering why.

    The “benefit of the doubt” answer is a situation I have experienced myself: they simply did not realize they had lethal on the board. I have had a couple instances in which I got too focused on the strategy and took a defensive maneuver before realizing the offensive kills shot was available. I have also miscounted the damage I had available. My funniest experience I to date is an opponent who clearly had the upper hand and had lethal damage in play, when including the hunter’s hero power. However, they spent all mana on new minions, leaving me with one health. On the next turn, I was able to buff my remaining minion to lethal and won the game. I really think this individual got too excited about what they had available, or miscounted mana.

    However, this seems to happen all too often to be nothing but simple mistakes. Take a match I just finished for instance. I did all I could, but had to end my turn in a checkmate situation. I had 7 life remaining with no taunt minions on the board. My opponent had an 8/8 and one other minion on the board. It was obvious one quick hit with the 8/8 would end the match, but my opponent instead hit with the other minion for 3 damage, cast a spell that damaged all minions, wiping away one from each side and leaving us each with one, and then cast Power Overwhelming on the 8/8 minion to hit me with 12 for a 8 damage overkill. So, why go to all the extra trouble? Was my opponent trying to fulfill a daily quest for spells cast or damage dealt? Or, were they trying to rub in the victory? While I don’t want to assume the worst, I would also note only about half of those that take these extra steps respond to my “Well Played” in kind.

    I may never know why other players prolong an obvious victory, but it certainly is a curious thing. I know the obvious way to avoid this is to just concede when the game is lost, but if it is a close match I like to stick it out for the tiny possibility they will screw up and fail to make the killing blow. Honestly, there is no harm done; the match takes an extra minute or two is all. More than anything, this is just a curious observation of a behavioral “meta” I have noticed in my short couple months in the game.

     


  • Fear of Embarrassing Failure – The Anxiety of Being Bad at a Game

    I love multiplayer games. They add an element you just don’t get from the singleplayer campaigns – human thought. Developers are constantly working to make artificial intelligence within their games more human-like to make singleplayer modes more compelling, but they never quite have that full sense of competition and unexpected tactics and interactions you will see in a multiplayer setting. Nevermind game elements that require real interaction, such as strategic diplomacy or team cooperation; AI simply cannot imitate the feeling you get working with other gamers in these ways.

    Despite my enjoyment of multiplayer, I find I do not play it all that often, and when I do, I barely get the multiplayer for all its worth. I find this is especially true in team-based games such as Battlefield or Insurgency. It used to be that I would only play Battlefield if a close friend was playing as well. It was not until I became significantly more comfortable with the game that I would play solo, and even then I don’t initiate interaction with squadmates, I follow the lead of others, and I don’t stray beyond my comfort zone for modes, loadouts, etc. I think Insurgency is a really high-quality game, but I cannot bring myself to jump into it alone.

    I blamed it all on my social anxiety and decided it is what it is: I still have fun playing and that’s all I need. However, it still bugged me, especially as I realized that some things about it made no sense. Of course, anxiety as a whole rarely makes complete sense in that we know deep down there is no real harm to fear, but it still persists. Why would I be socially anxious playing a game online? No one can see my face. I am using my gamer handle rather than my real name, so no one really knows me personally. My anxiety is usually at its worst when I am in a crowded room of people I don’t know and may not share interest with (think business mixer). However, in a gaming environment, it’s a virtual room full of gamers there to play a game. Clearly, we all have a shared interest. So, why so anxious?

    I have come to realize that much of this anxiety comes from a fear of failure and therefore a fear of embarrassing myself. I avoid playing games I will enjoy. I avoid making new friends. I avoid having new experiences and learning new things. I avoid becoming better. I avoid all these things because I am anxious about sucking at a game. I am anxious despite not truly caring how good I am (I just want to have fun). I am anxious despite knowing we all start  as noobs. I am anxious despite knowing it is just a game. I am anxious despite knowing the only way to get better or have any fun with the game is to play. Sure, there are valid reasons for anxiety, such as the vitriol found within many gaming communities, but negative experiences would be outweighed by the positive, you would hope (have found this is not always the case, which has exacerbated the issue at times).

    I am sure I could spend quite a bit of time doing some psychological analysis to determine if this is all due to some adolescent experiences or something like that, but I am sure speculation will get nowhere. In the end, I come back to, “it is what it is.” Sure, I will keep pushing myself, but I know it will always be there.

    I am not sure what my end goal was in writing this. Maybe it was to share my thought process on the subject, or maybe I figured it would be therapeutic. Perhaps someone else not sure why they are uncomfortable in a multiplayer game will stumble across this and have an epiphany. All I can say is I have found multiplayer gaming easier to do with friends because they help you see past the anxiety (at least when they support you rather than making you feel judged about your skills), but it is also more fun that way because it is usually a higher-quality interaction. Even so, there is still A LOT of quality single-player out there, so don’t fret either way you go.

    Oh, and if you see me out there, feel free to say hi. Receiving interaction from others usually reduces the anxiety quite a bit.


  • Keep Playing and Have Fun

    “Keep playing and have fun.” – This, or a variant of it (sometimes just, “have fun”) is how I typically end my YouTube videos. No, it is not meant to be a tag line, per se, though I guess you could argue it works like that, being my own personal oft overused phrase. What it is meant to be is a reminder to keep at it, and have fun doing so. It is meant, on the surface, to be just as it sounds: keep playing games, and have fun doing so. However, it has some much deeper meanings behind it as well.

    In high school, I played basketball and golf. I was not particularly good either, I just happened to attend a small rural school where the population was small enough that there was little competition to get on the team. I enjoyed (and still do enjoy) playing. However, the adults around me and my peers all took sports very seriously, so I followed that example. I would get aggressively competitive, angry at referees, and downtrodden by my mistakes. Much of my focus was on doing well and winning. This was especially evident in golf, where you are primarily playing against the design of the course and your own personal nature. If you focus on your mistakes, you tend to tense up and play even worse. At this point, it is no longer fun.

    Although I attended a university only 30 miles from my parents and high school, it was enough distance to get away from various influences that inspired and maintained my way of thinking. It took some time, but I started to realize, especially from solo golf outings, that I had better experiences if I would just keep playing and have fun. Focusing on the fun mean I not only enjoyed the experience more, but on average I played better as well. It took some practice to let the bad moments wash away and center my mind on the good moments. I still find myself getting wrapped up in a bit of frustration from time-to-time, especially if I am playing with others and feel compelled to impress or be overly competitive.

    The Anxious Gamers recently posted a video by NoZoupForYou Gaming titled “Hunt the Good Stuff“, which I recommend you check out. In it, Zoup talks about the Resiliency training he is involved in as part of the US Armed Forces, and an exercise within it to take a moment each day and focus on the good things that happened. “Hunt the good stuff” and “have fun” have much the same intent: a change in mindset to focus on the good of our day and the fun of our activities, even if for only a little while, with the hope that it helps eventually to make us feel better overall and to keep playing.

    I challenge you to try it the next time you jump in to Battlefield 4, play a round of golf, or whatever activity you might choose, and focus on the fun and why you do it in the first place. Find the fun or make it fun. You might just find you enjoy it a bit more.


  • On Leaving the Freedom! Network

    For the last six months of 2014, my YouTube channel was partnered with the Freedom! MCN via their subnetwork, Etatch. In December, I submitted a request to end this partnership, which became effective around the first of the new year. While this really isn’t a big deal, and there is no significant drama to speak of, I do feel it is a good opportunity to share some of my thoughts from the experience. Browsing the Let’s Play subreddit, I frequently see people ask about partnerships, so maybe sharing my thoughts will help someone else.

    The opportunity to partner with Etatch arrived in my inbox one day as a complete surprise. It was kind of exciting, as somehow it made me feel a little more “legit” as a YouTube hobbyist, because the message said they had watched some videos and felt I would be a good addition. I will not say this was not true, but I will get into the fallacy of my thinking soon. The messages implied how a partnership would help a channel grow, touted the revenue share, and promised a positive experience. After giving it significant thought, I decided it was a good opportunity to test drive a partnership, as I really had nothing to lose. One of the benefits of Freedom! is their 30-day “no lock-in” contract, which means they can be easy to test-drive and there is always a way out.

    The experience has not been significantly positive or negative. Overall, I found more things I would consider negative (in the way having nothing when you want something is a negative), which is why I terminated the partnership. Unfortunately, I don’t know how many of the issues apply to more networks than Freedom!, but I would assume most are similar enough in how they operate that it will take significant convincing of a difference to get me to trouble with joining one again.

    Advantages

    There were certainly some positive aspects to being partnered. For instance, Freedom has worked out deals that offer a lot of music you can use in your videos, though I cannot say if it is really any better or more expansive than the royalty-free music one can find without a partnership. Being part of a network can also make it a little easier to find and communicate with like-minded content producers to discuss tips, compare experiences, or put together collaborations. There are probably some other things I am either forgetting or was not aware of because they are offered to larger channels.

    Business Model

    The ways of one network do not represent the business approach of all networks, so be sure to investigate how a potential network operates before joining. Speaking specifically about Freedom, I have to say I did not like their business model. During my short time as a partner, it was clear that Freedom’s primary measure of success (for the moment, anyway) is the number of channels partnered with the network (and they count all subnetworks, so they weave quite a web). I believe their business plan is to simply sign up as many channels as possible, thereby playing the statistics and increasing the likelihood they have included those channels lucky enough to hit it big, as well as to simply work a profit from sheer volume, as taking a cut of a channel’s ad revenue is entirely passive income.

    This model is clear by looking at their structure. There are no real requirements to join Freedom. Nearly every application seems to be accepted, and almost anyone can start their own subnetwork under the main MCN. All partners are also offered referral bonuses for bringing other channels into the network. It all points to a desire for unmitigated growth. During my six months with Etatch, I received multiple requests to join other Freedom subnetworks, one of which even argued with me about how much more his network offered when I explained I was already with a Freedom subnetwork. Their system incentivizes, and therefore indirectly encourages spam and cannibalism between networks.

    I mentioned earlier that being contacted by a recruiter was exciting and made me feel more legit. However, I really was nothing more than just another channel. Freedom seems to show little discretion in what channels they partner. This results in you being a small fish in a sea only a bit smaller than YouTube itself, but also in Freedom being unable to truly deliver on the promise to help you grow. This also results in a large number of partners who are immature, both in life and in business, which significantly reduces the value of the community as a tool.

    As a member of the network, I of course subbed to the Freedom channel in an effort to keep up with any network-related news. However, I unsubbed after a couple months because it cluttered my sub box with overly frequent uploads. The channel was full of “helpful” tips for growing your channel, which the channel itself employed gratuitously. These tips include very gimmicky practices such as hype and teaser videos. Personally, I don’t have the time and will usually unsubscribe any channel that uploads a short video to tease or hype a video that goes live in an hour. I also found a lot of their videos to mislead one into thinking there was valuable news content, and if the content was anything more than a tease, it required getting deep into the video to find. Basically, I felt that as a subbed partner (and I would assume the majority of their subs are network partners), they weren’t there to help me so much as I was there to help them get views and revenue on their videos.

    Money

    I do not do YouTube for money. I started it as a curiosity and potential hobby, with the notion that it would provide enough cash to buy a game nothing more than a pipe dream. When you monetize videos on YouTube, you do so through Google Adsense, which requires you to accumulate $100 USD before it will pay you. At about $0.20 – $0.30 a month, ever receiving a payment is unlikely. One advantage to the Freedom! network is that they will pay you monthly, regardless of amount. However, they only give you 60% of what you would get through Adsense. Unfortunately, the way it was presented to me was that Freedom offered a 60/40 split, and that  was better than the 55/45 split from Adsense (which lead me to assume Freedom had its own ad network because this didn’t make sense otherwise).

    If you are doing videos for the money or have any concerns about this at all, be sure to look into how a potential network handles ad revenue very thoroughly. It may be that you are better off on your own. Thankfully, I did not really care, as this was all an experiment from the very start. However, had I been a larger channel with a real revenue stream, I would have been rather miffed at the poor communication on how the revenue works from the recruiter. Of course, had I been a larger channel, I also would have been given a more VIP recruitment effort and/or a greater revenue share offer anyway, so that might be a moot point.

    Help

    Networks offer very little to smaller channels in the way of direct help. I definitely found there was no real hands-on help. Instead, they provided “tools”. They never really explain what these tools are. I guess those would be the community, music library, and how-to videos. One quickly realizes the relatively low value of these tools, as royalty-free music and how-to videos can be found without a network (and in better quality in some cases).

    As I mentioned earlier, the value of the community as a tool is dependent on those within the community. Despite the sheer volume of partners, the number truly involved and helpful on the community forums is quite limited. There is a very large number of “check out my channel plz” posts. Their volunteer moderators work very hard to keep things organized and clean, but when such a volume of new partners is constantly flowing in without regard to experience, business acumen, or mental maturity, it makes finding valuable discussion quite difficult. Requests for help or critiques of your channel or videos in forum topics meant for that purpose often fall off without a reply. There is little more frustrating than receiving no help when you ask for it. I still don’t understand why they don’t hire people specifically for this purpose.

    Those who complain about the network’s failure to help them grow on the forums are promptly told that joining the network does not immediately grow a channel, and that it takes hard work using the tools provided.  This says a couple of things. First, I am not certain those defending the network could even identify these tools they speak of so confidently. The other issue is a sense that little will change, as your tiny channel is just a speck to the network and your concerns are quickly disregarded.

    The truth is, all partnered channels are passive income to the network. The network takes a percentage of each partnered channel’s revenue, regardless of what they have done for that particular channel. There is no incentive to help you, beyond that of keeping you partnered. One might think your growth bringing them more revenue would be an incentive, but you already have a drive to grow and will do it yourself, so why should they expend the energy? By playing the statistics of volume, they ensure that there will be plenty of large or growing large channels that are content enough to remain with the network that the attrition of discontent or anemic channels does not hurt them.

    Though it may sound like it, my experience was not entirely negative. I did manage to find a few quality channels to follow. With sufficient digging, I found some helpful tips and ideas to implement. I also learned a lot (much of which comes from the negative aspects, of course). As a small channel, it seems pretty clear a network is not for me. Honestly, unless the network was going to directly work for their share and help me do things I cannot do on my own, I have trouble seeing how one may ever be for me. Most of what a network like Freedom “offers” is the same as what one can find independently with enough searching. Using the tools available to everyone via Twitter, YouTube, and Twitch to find similar channels and other players/community members seems to do just as much for your learning, growth, and inspiration as being in a vast network.


  • Be the change you wish to see

    “Be the change you wish to see” is a inspirational quote I am sure we have all heard at one time or another. I typically don’t think too much about such quotes, but this one came to mind in light of a recent concern of mine. In my last post, I criticized the Freedom! network, of which I am a member, because of the unintended result of their recent small channel sponsorship giveaways. That concern was that it created a flood of lower quality/high volume channel review and video critique offers, and the individuals offering those services only provided to those posting on their thread and seem to ignore all the threads requesting help.

    I realized after writing my criticism that I was being lazy, if not hypocritical, to not do any reviews myself. So, I have made an effort to do at least one each day the past couple days, focusing on those that have been sitting untouched for a few days to prevent a few from being ignored and lost. I have enjoyed it because I feel like I have helped someone else with some quality feedback, but it also seems to be helping me to practice looking critically at a video, which will hopefully lead to better production on my part.

    I guess there is some merit to living out these quotes from time-to-time.